Friday, 5 June 2009

TUNNOCK TASTIC


Greetings blogmates, I hope this finds you spankingly well and rosy cheeked with joy. Sorry I’m a bit late posting but I’ve just spent a week in Englandshire home of cricket, clotted cream and Morris dancing. So now I’m back but tainted with a strange desire to eat jellied eel and mash and shout “Cor Blimey Guvnor”. No doubt a mountain of Tunnocks Caramel Wafers washed down with a bath tub of Buckfast will soon help me recover.

Apparently there was lots of activity in my absence; most notably a foot stamping pique by EVIL LEADER. I’m told that PRINCESS and OOMPALOOMPAH invited DWARFBURD to join them on a gentle training ride around the lanes of leafy St Andrews. All was spankingly well for the first 100m after which DWARFBURD’s Anglo Saxon utterings grew louder and louder as she fell further and further behind. So far behind that she rode into a separate time zone and EVIL LEADER launched his toys and stropped off home to put more product on his hair. The others then retired to a local hostelry to plot on overthrowing EVIL LEADER who is now to be known as the STROPPYONE.

Anyway I managed to get out on my bike with OOMPAH and STROPPY and, after a wee peddle along the coast, was invited back to OOMPAH’s mansion for tea and biscuits. I took a seat in the visitor’s lounge in the West Wing of OOMPAH Towers where I met MRS OOMPAH. She is lovely, GWAR and must fancy me because she offered me one of OOMPAH’s Tunnocks Caramel Wafers from the special biscuit tin. The fact that she spends half her life with her hand up cow’s bums probably accounts for the glazed look on OOMPAH’s face!

All that but not much training. Work seems to have overcome most of us the last 2 weeks but I am sure, like the horsemen of the apocalypse and Arnie, we’ll be back……………soon. Toodly bye.

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